Nourishment for a Nursing Mother

Women are often told that giving birth is akin to a rebirth for the mother too. All that I remember from my entire birthing process are the intense hunger pangs; as if besides the baby, another deep pit had opened up in my stomach.  As I channeled all the reserves of energy in my body to face the excruciating labor pains, pains that I had never experienced before and which anecdotal wisdom hadn't prepared me enough to combat, I craved for the nutritional support that comfort food would bestow on my weary body. But that nutritional support was far beyond my reach. It's a medical necessity that thousands of women face in the maternity ward, its rational , scientifically proven but it doesn't satisfy the mental self that is just as much at play in the labor room as our physical bodies. In the two days of labor I developed a special hatred for veg broth and clear jelly- and I am sure there are other new mothers who would join my hate club. I thought that it was a 'emperors new clothes' kind of trick played on me; these two 'items' pretended to be food but they were provided just to trick me into thinking that I was getting nutrition for the body that I was pushing to its limit! I was in a terrible state, I was dry heaving and at times throwing up the broth too- but I craved for the simple ghee-Dal Chaval ( Waran Bhaat made in Maharashtrian homes) no pickle, spicy potatoes, coriander-mint-coconut chutney, even a khichari  would have given me a nurturing warmth from within, when  everywhere else the body was experiencing the sharp stabs of pain. But that wasn't meant to be. I couldn't eat for a full, solid twenty four hours, which to me felt like three or four days. Being thrown under the bus and then using the leftovers to mop the floor, that's what the body felt like. I had never experienced that kind of mind numbing fatigue, bone-tired weariness- it seemed like a bottomless pit I wouldn't be able to summit out of . And then... they placed this tiny helpless baby with a rosebud mouth on my chest... And the dog tired body produced the liquid gold elixir for this new human being... That's when I realized why the birthing process was akin to a rebirth of the mother too..

Because so much of my birthing memories are food related, it's easy for me to remember the first meal after my rebirth. My mother had bought  Dal-methi and Rice to the hospital. The rice was cooked with Cumin, asafoetida and two-three whole black peppercorns so that it wouldn't irritate the fragile digestive system. The Dal-Methi was cooked in coconut milk to aid the milk production and milk flow. To complete the taste palette there was a small Aaliv/ watercress seeds Ladoo made with Gud, coconut and ghee.  Belly full, satiated with comfort food, I embarked on the journey of nourishing my daughter.

In the last three years, I have had the opportunity to recreate this experience for a couple of my friends in the United States. Two of these friends were prescribed Methi/ Fenugreek tablets by Doctors and midwives to help lactation but they gladly chose to try it in the food format, hoping it would be more nourishing. I enthusiastically cooked for them and shared my mother's recipe. I got the opportunity again last week to cook a whole meal for my neighbor. She has just given birth to a baby boy a month ago. Her mother stayed with her for a few days before the delivery and three four days after the baby's birth.  Her in -laws will arrive a couple of months later to help them with the baby. The new mom- dad are manning their new family and the challenges of a new baby all by themselves. As I marvel at this, I also feel sad that a lot of new families in America don't have the support system that we take for granted in India. But at the same time, its very heartening to see neighbors and close friends standing up to help, hoping to share responsibilities and becoming a part of the village that is required to raise a baby.  With a toddler of my own underfoot, I offered the only thing I could manage to do- cook. ( I discovered an excellent resource- Meal Train  for new mothers, old people, recuperating patients).  Also, Nourishing a mother who is nourishing a baby seemed like a great opportunity to earn some good Karma :)


Dal Methi, a  salad, (steamed beetroot with cumin powder, salt, sugar, lemon juice,whole roasted peanuts) Stir fried kale ( with sesame, garlic, coconut, red chilies) Cauliflower and green onion Sabji, Mixed flour Poli/ roti ( oats, raagi,  two big spoons of Flaxseed powder in wheat flour), white rice( with cumin, asafoetida, peppercorns added when cooking the rice)

Though I cooked the meal with my toddler, I felt very satisfied while cooking this meal for a nursing mother- a kind of happiness that is very hard to put into words, but which just like the food nourished my soul. When my neighbor messaged me the next day she said, "Your food satisfied my soul! I didn't know I needed this until I ate it. As soon as I can,I want to learn to make the Dal and the greens. Thanks a ton!"

When I read my neighbors message, I started introspecting. I have never, ever in my life  have had a healthy and clean, nutritious diet except when I was pregnant. When I was breastfeeding, again because milk production for my daughter was the top priority, I kept up with my healthy food habits. After the first year when mothers milk started sharing its importance with other solid foods, I started veering off my path of healthy eating. In making our children, our whole family our priority, I feel that new mothers loose sight of their own body's needs. At least, I did. I have seen close friends, cousins, elder sisters go through this....We give from our body until we deplete it.  A reserach based article on ScienceMag talks about how women actually loose grey matter in their brains during pregnancy and the loss is still visible even two years later! (5% brain fat lost in the prenatal period )This loss is not just because we are being attuned to our babies needs and maternal instincts but because the fat from our brains is literally being used in the baby creation- developments process!

On a closer inspection of my roots I also noticed that the whole system around child birth and maternal care in India is very warm and welcoming. There's so much anecdotal wisdom always floating around us, access to help, simple but logical steps to follow for a new mother, do's and don'ts  of diet, oil massage for both baby and mother, such simple things permeating through generations.. There is of course the darker side of it being too strictly adhered to by the older generation and becoming cumbersome to follow for the contemporary woman in India- but there is definitely some gold in the old traditions. Even for me , a Indian mom living far away from India, the ancient wisdom passed onto me by my mother and mother-in-law helped me to steer through a long and nourishing breastfeeding experience. Our generation hasn't had to study texts or ancient books, but despite our Dr.Google queries, counter-arguments, stubborn refusal of acceptance of old norms,  the knowledge transfer from past generation to us is seamless. But there is very little about the mother's body, mother's care after the breastfeeding phase has passed. When the demands of a toddler, long breastfeeding relationship has depleted the mother- what happens next? Personal experience, anecdotal evidence points to the fact that women's health related problems, spinal problems,  knee and joint pain, bone density problems all arise a few years post pregnancy.

Cooking for a nursing mom reminded me that no matter what, I had to treat my body as a vessel that may not be carrying a new human being but which was still the vessel of my own aspirations and dreams, while I continue to exist on this planet. Unless I feed that body with nutritious food, give my body what it needs to replete itself, I will always be bone -weary. 

All the nursing mom's on this group- This post is just for all of you. Nourish yourself for the baby you are nourishing, but after the breastfeeding journey is complete, Nourish yourself for your own dreams, keep that body healthy because you need to be healthy for you. Your baby, your husband, your family will always need you, but so will you!

All the ancient wisdom that's been passed onto us, we will accept, edit, rewrite, make new versions and pass it on with the hope of not just healthier moms but healthier women ...